The unconscious realm, the psyche, is a mysterious place. We journey there every night, experiencing strange and unusual things, yet these very things, if we allow them to percolate – sometimes for years in our dream journals or sometimes for a brief meditation session – can bring us great awakening and healing revelations about ourselves from the dark depths of the psyche.
Those of you who have followed me for years know that I have what I call “dream series.” A major one over the last several years has been my “house dreams” (see last post: Home Sweet Home here). These continue to come, but a new constant in them has shifted their message: it’s always nighttime. Each time I return to my old home, I know that I am just visiting, and the darkness of nighttime symbolizes that I am going deeper into the depths of my own psyche.
A couple of recent “house dreams” (a house often represents the psyche in dreams) have now led me to a deeper level of healing that is taking place:
2/19/2018: I’m at my old house, and the couple left so I could be there. It was night and dark and no lights on inside. I was in the living room area. I was meeting with and/or deciding on which “boyfriend” to take back with me.
5/04/2018: I’m at my old house, and it’s nighttime again. I’m in the dining room/kitchen area. A friend was at her car trunk outside and then bringing in a bed frame. There was some discussion about king size versus queen size.
Same night: I’m at a picnic, and my “husband” was there standing by some glass doors. Two much bigger men were approaching him. I ran over to protect and defend him, and I hoped he wouldn’t feel e-masculated or offended.
Many years ago in the past I had dreams where my inner masculine appeared as a young boy – weak, undeveloped, and wanting to be loved. I have done a lot of work to nurture, support, and allow to grow this aspect within myself in recent years, learning to assert myself and my needs, among other things. Now he is grown up, appearing as my “other half”, as my “boyfriend” or “husband.” Deep within I seem to be deciding to accept him and take him with me/my inner feminine; it doesn’t have to be him/king or her/queen who wins all the time. I need to allow my inner masculine be his masculine qualities, instead of my inner feminine trying to protect him like a small boy.
Though I consciously feel both aspects of my psyche are reasonably well developed, I have recently had the revelation that they might not be working together in an equal and integrated way. I now need to learn how to healthily integrate my inner masculine and feminine energies, or maybe this process is already happening deep within my unconscious…
5/11/2018: I was talking to a friend, who was a friend’s boyfriend. I was trying to see if they were a good match. He kept insisting that they were, though he pointed out that I had only spent a lot of time with each of them separately.
5/16/2018: I was in situation somewhat like the “Bachelor” show, and I was trying to be the match for the guy. I knew in the dream that he was my inner masculine.
The dreamworld is a fascinating place that tries to reveal to our conscious minds what is going on deep within. I will have to do much more self-reflection and meditation on this integration process, since it was quite a revelation to me that these two sides of my psyche have been seeking to come into balance and become whole.