I had an interesting dream last night, that left me feeling grounded and peaceful. It was another of my “house” dream series, where I return to my old home. You can read many previous entries in my posts Butterfly Journal: Gratitude, Time Machine Blogging Challenge: Traversing the Timelessness of the Dreamworld, and Butterfly Journal: Self-Reflection. In summary, most of those dreams had the themes of me going back and packing more, cleaning, seeing it empty, not selling or buying it back, or just curious to check on the house and see the changes. In Butterfly Journal: Gratitude, I wrapped up with a feeling of being home sweet home:
As I’ve mentioned before, a house or home symbol in dreams often symbolizes the psyche, and for me the psyche is where I have been doing much, much cleaning, clearing, and healing. As challenging as things had been, especially over the past few years, I am thankful for all of it, for without those experiences I would not now be “home.”
The few house dreams that I have had since the last December 2015 entry in Butterfly Journal: Gratitude show that, not surprisingly since healing is continuous, more cleaning, clearing, and releasing deep in my psyche was taking place:
3/31/16: Then I was at my old house. It was empty and never sold. No one ever moved in. I went through the back door, and the key was the same. (I still had the key – This is another theme within this series.) The house was as I had left it. In the front yard someone(s) had removed some of the bricks that were underneath the soil (near where the bamboo was) in 2 or 3 spots revealing the hollowness underneath. I wondered how they had held in place. Even though no one had moved in, I did not want to move back!
7/7/16: In my old house. The walls were green again. I had left someone living there, and thought that I needed to tell them I wasn’t coming back. There was also some stuff there I needed to finish taking care of.
10/15/16: I was at my old house just to see it. It was empty and deserted or neglected. I was in the living room looking out the front windows at stuff left out for donations and trash pick-up. Then I was in the backyard, and like the front yard, it was all just grass. Everything was removed – the pond, chickens, trees, etc. Some people were there just talking but unaware of me (?). I may have been talking to someone. I saw/found a small pile of things in the dirt that had been left or forgotten, but they were falling apart/decaying.
These three dreams show that there was/is more in even deeper layers of my psyche that need addressing, healing, and clearing out. I hold the key to this process and have access to it, yet at the same time I know that I am not going back to the old struggles I once had and am moving on towards the future. And then last night’s dream:
11/12/16: I went back to my old house. It was fully lived in by the couple that bought it, and I as aware that it was no longer my home. I had come in through the back. At first I thought no one was there, but the woman was coming out of the bathroom. I explained I didn’t have their number and couldn’t call ahead to let them know I was coming. My dogs and cats were with me, but one of them had also stayed at the house to help with the couple’s baby. I was going to bring her (the dog) back home with me. I had forgotten to pack pet food, but there was dog and cat food there I could use.
The husband then arrived, and he showed me the out the back and how they had moved the garage from the side to the center-back of the yard. They also had built a covering from the back door to the garage, which they also did from the front. The sides of the house we’re open and exposed.
Last night’s dream was different from all the others, and shows that I have or am coming to closure, completion, and a wholeness or healing within my psyche (very synchronistic with the super full moon coming up!). My conscious, subconscious, and unconscious have accepted, integrated, and are coming to a deeper understanding of the process of the past 4.5 years since moving from my old home. It is no longer my home (Reminder: “home/house” is symbolic of “psyche.”); it is the old struggles that I have let go of. By releasing ownership of the house (struggles within the psyche), I no longer identify with them. They are no longer me, but lessons and experiences that have led to inner growth.
This process is also reflected in my real/conscious life. For the first time since moving 4.5 years ago and embarking on an intense journey of psychic, psychological, familial, and ancestral healing, I am now living in a home that is not someone else’s. I am home sweet home – feeling safe, secure, supported, whole, grounded, and settled.