Butterfly Journal: Self-Reflection (Entry #2)

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Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
– Carl Jung

This Butterfly Journal post is in conjunction with Blue Butterflies and Me’s 11 Day Clearing from September 11 to the Equinox on September 22. Be sure to check out yesterday’s post by Linda at Lite Being Chronicles.

In Entry #1, I mentioned the biggest piece of “clutter” that needed clearing was the “what if’s” of the past. Though happy with the decision to completely change my life, my mind often wanders back to my old home, wondering and imagining what life there would still be like. Upon further self-reflection, I see that this isn’t hanging onto the past, but more like pondering what a different, maybe even parallel (reality/universe?), path that my life could be on. I know that clairvoyantly I am able to visualize possible future outcomes, and I have wondered if this is sort of what I am doing when I think about what life would be like today if I were in my old home. Am I truly viewing a parallel “me”? Whether I am or not, letting my mind and vision drift to that curiosity or reality, hinders the creation of the new life I living here and now. Clearing out these “what if’s” opens the way for the new.

Over a year ago, when I first moved, these thoughts were very common, especially when I’d ask myself if I’d made a mistake. My answer was always no though the transition was not easy. And even though it was my decision, I still had to grieve all that no longer was. Over the past year, the “what if’s” have become less and less. By last Spring, they only appeared occasionally, but then I began to have a series of interesting dreams. I do feel these dreams are how my unconscious is working at clearing out the “what if’s” tucked away deep, deep inside. Here are my Dream Journal entries for these dreams:

Dream #1, 4-28-13:

I went back to my old house just to check it out. Kuruk (my pup) and Zoe (my catwere with me. I knocked and rang the bell, but no one was there, so I used the key I had (I do not have one in real life). They were still moving stuff in and putting the house together. I saw the woman and she had a new baby. I told her I just stopped by. That’s all.

Dream #2, 5-7-13:

I went to my old house to finish packing up (though I knew in my dream I had moved away a while ago). The woman had blonde hair this time and everything was very white and bright, and washed in light. She was cooking. The couple had removed the built-in cabinet in the dining room and asked if I wanted it. I said no. I put my air mattress in the living room since I would need to stay over-night. Simba (my pup who has passed but is an animal spirit guide for me) was with me. 

Dream #3, 6-11-13:

I was back at my old house and had returned to finish cleaning up. There was stuff stacked under the front door mat. My mail, I think. I had entered the house through the back though, and then went to the front door and saw this. (In my dream journal I also note here that in the first two dreams I also entered through the back door. In the first one I had rung the bell but then entered through the back.) I saw neighbors from across the street wave. That was all.

Dream #4, 7-20-13:

I returned to my old house because my neighbors wanted me there. I wasn’t in the house though. Then I am walking down the street towards the coffeeshop. It was warm and humid. I wondered why I went back. I didn’t want to. Others wanted it.

Dream #5, 9-9-13:

I went to my old house and let myself in (front door) with a key. The owners asked me to let them know next time before I just come over. My pups were with me. I was only in the living room.

Besides clearing things out from deep in my unconscious, I feel the dreams are allowing me to travel back and retrieve any energy I’ve left behind. I just now realized that I need to travel back in a dream and leave the “key” there in order to finish cleaning and clearing that stage of my life. Anyone else’s intuitive insights and impressions are appreciated!

Life, what is it but a dream? – Lewis Carroll

Check out tomorrow’s 11 Day Clearing post at Karen Kubicko.

If you are interested in embarking on your own journey of transformation, you can purchase Butterfly Journal for under $10 from Create SpaceAmazon, or Barnes & Noble.

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About Julianne Victoria

I am a writer, healer, spiritual life coach, astrologer & tarot reader in Santa Barbara, CA. I hope to help heal, teach, and inspire others on their journeys and in this life. © Julianne Victoria and Through the Peacock's Eyes Press under the Common Law Copyright; My main Blog: www.peacockseyes.com
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14 Responses to Butterfly Journal: Self-Reflection (Entry #2)

  1. Hey Ms. Julianne~ Just a reminder your up today. I am looking forward to another enlightening post from you. 😀

  2. Wonderful and insightful clearing Julianne! What amazing dream recall, and I love how the dreams had a progression to them. Soul Retrieval is a very important process for conscious awareness, as I see you already know. before I left Louisiana and my recent 2 year stint of returning home, my sister and I drove around our home town, and retrieved our energy or soul fragments from all of the places that meant something to us.

    I have known and heard that quite a few conscious people have made physical moves in the last several years, and sometimes more than once. When my Being, in meditation told me, “Leave California by November 1.” in 2009, where I was deeply rooted, it also told me, “Do not become deeply rooted again'” it said that I needed to be light and fluid and able to flow, no attachments.
    When I left my apartment in Los Angeles, which I loved and had lived in for 18 years, I got rid of almost everything I owned. Sometimes I revisit some of those belongings in my mind, missing them, so I released the object but it still possessed my soul fragment, even though I should have reclaimed it. (Note to Linda: A beautiful 7 story castle building was across the street.)

    I dreamed last night of the man who recently left me and who I was so sad about. In the dream he was so creepy and ugly and with a creepy and ugly woman, and he behaved in a sneaky and cowardly manner. In the dream we were in my brothers house and he looked very disapproving of my ex being in his space. I really love and loved my ex but hey……Clarifying 😀

    Houses can signify our mind and psychology. (I haven’t read a lot of Jung, like you, Linda, Monika, and Debra) so I am not sure if that is what he says. I often look at dreams regarding houses in that fashion. I have not kept a dream journal in awhile but it is a very good and helpful tool. I think I will start again.

    Thank you Julianne for sharing this insightful part of you. It has been helpful for my clearing.

    Namaste
    Love you all~
    Sindy

    • Oh, oh and I so believe in parallel existences and think its sort of okay to know what is going on in them, as long as it doesn’t take our conscious awareness from our present (in the moment) focus. 😀

      ¯`✻´¯)I Am Brahman. Such is the truth. ♥°*”˜ƸӜƷ˜”*°♥
      `*.¸.*✿ღ✿ღ.¸¸♥// (ˆ◡ˆ)\\♥ … ツ
      Sindy

    • Thanks Sindy for the awesome comments! There is also “stuff” going on with houses too, as with the 4th house symbolism of home, mother, and family. I also know I had to return home to complete a long cycle of healing concerning home, mother, and family, and that’s another reason why I feel unrooted here. I’m here for a purpose, but still in my transition phase. And I have another dream series going on involving me moving to a new home, usually with my “husband” (who does not yet exist in waking life). This all goes beyond the Butterfly Journal subject, but there are always oh so many layers to everything! 🙂 Love and Light… Namaste _/l\_

      • I got body chills regarding your new husband. Just saying. 😀

      • Cool! One not-so-fun thing about clairvoyance and psychic abilities (for me at least) is sensing, even knowing, the energies already in play that are coming in the future. Like with moving from my old home, even as I was still creating more with it, I could feel the energy building towards it all ending. But, you just go on with life until the time comes. 🙂 With the new home and husband/life partner, I feel those energies building too, but this time, I have to wait for the next phase to happen (makes me antsy :-P), whereas this past transition was all my doing (well, and the Universe sending me loud signals it was time!).
        Your dream about the ex…I think it was showing you him in full light. I don’t know what happened except what I read between the words in your sad posts :-(, but the dreams will give you affirmation. It’s still not easy though. It’s ok to still love him, but doesn’t mean you have to like the persona. He came to teach you something about yourself. Learning all you can from the experience will clear it. >l<

      • Yes Mam~ I tell you the story privately. A couple of blogger gals who I am friends with no the sad saga. lol But off to meet a new guy right now, with the same name. Haha The irony. It’s an interesting story which I will share with you privately as well.

        Oh the excitement of newness. Now off to look pretty. 😉

  3. Great post! I think it actually helped me solve part of the mystery of my recurring dreams back to my first apartment in college . These dreams recurr off and on for many many years. I do not regret moving from there, but it represents a time of such possibilities and it was a beautiful castle building with huge rooms with wooden floors and distinctive touches especially in the bathroom. The building is called the castle and I have not lived anywhere quite like it. It is the same time when I first met the man that I blogged about ( parallel realm).

    I do not yet have the gift of definite guidance that you do regarding decisions, boy would that come in handy? It must give you some comfort. I am glad you have discovered your process and are able to be a bit more rooted in your present situation.

    • Thank you Linda! Studying the self and Self is always so fascinating! Besides this finishing up of clearing and collecting my “roots” I do strongly feel things will be changing a lot again (as you know from my astrology too) and my roots where I am now feel unattached or temporary. It creates a restless feeling for me, but this time around I know I have to what for the changes to happen.

  4. shreejacob says:

    Nice post! I don’t know if it is a good thing or not but I rarely if ever think back and wonder “What if…”. It could be seen to some as not facing certain past issues?

    I like the interpretation of your dreams…that you are going back to clear the energies. The last one seems a little more telling…the owners telling you not to just show up like that…maybe it is your unconscious which is telling you that it is time now to finally let go??

    • Thanks Shreeja. The more I write and think about it, the more I see that I have been retrieving energy. I had completely transformed that home. It was a years-long art and creative project for me, so I had become very grounded and rooted there. I think the going back to finish cleaning, packing, and clearing during dreamtime is collecting the remaining deeply rooted energies there. I am also not deeply rooted where I am now, so there is that stark contrast to adjust to.

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