As I work on two of my books-in-progress, both of which have much to do with the psyche, psychology, the unconscious realm, and healing in those areas, I’ve realized that much of what I am really writing about is ancestral karma. One book is about my own healing journey, tentatively called The Journey of a Wounded Healer, and the other is about my sister and her mental illness, called In My Sister’s Mind, The Ups, Downs, and All-Arounds Within the Mind of a Schizophrenic. Because of and through my work on these two books, much to my surprise, I have assisted my own journey by embracing, healing, and releasing ancestral karma.
As those of you who followed along with my blog entries to my Butterfly Journal last year know, I made a huge life change by closing up my successful healing practice, selling my home that I had completely transformed, and leaving behind my little farm of veggies, herbs, berries, and chickens, to move back to my hometown San Francisco. Consciously I did that because I could no longer take the constant cold and lack of sunshine. I was also conscious of what moving back into my family home of four generations meant and what I would potentially be getting myself into.
Though consciously I hoped for different, psychically I knew that I was entering into what would be a very difficult and major healing and transformation phase, and that it was necessary for my growth. I knowingly completely tore down one fully free, creative, independent, and self-sustaining life, and keeping only the bare essentials willingly entered into into a life of nearly complete dependancy and stagnancy. As much as I was dreading it, I also knew in the depths of my psyche and by listening to the messages from Spirit, that this had to be done, and that if I did not choose to enter this transformation, the Universe would do it for me.
Fittingly this two-year slow and limiting cycle of healing and growth all occurred within the time frame that Saturn, the slow and limiting planet of transformation, was transiting my fourth house of home, family, the tribe, ancestors, and past life karma. As the past two years progressed and as I understood more and more why I was called back to home, I could feel deep healing occurring both within myself on all levels and within the walls of the home itself.
On my mother’s side, there are four generations who have lived in this house, five generations in San Francisco, and at least seven generations in California. They came partly because of famine in Ireland, and partly for the Gold Rush. On my father’s side, his parents were immigrants. Both sides have their tragedies and traumas, their adventures, their mysteries, their triumphs, and their secrets. There are ancestors who fled from crime, unexplained deaths, multiple lost babies, hidden teenage pregnancies, destructive fires, and women widowed much too young with several children. Missing pages of pictures in old photo albums add more to the mysteries, as well as hyperbolic stories of royal ancestry.
Looking back over the past 2.5 years I understand and see the whole process much better. As I slowly began to embrace my role and my journey, I was able to fully answer the soul call of my ancestors, to assist healing to take place now in the present to release the past and clear the way for future generations. Even the house itself, which used to be filled with entities and energies (I grew up aware that it was a haunted house), feels lighter and brighter. Much has been freed to fly toward the light.
The hallways here are covered with ancestors’ photos. I can only ponder all that went on in their lives, but many stories have passed on through the generations. Here are a few:
Ancestral karma and wounds can be passed down for generations genetically, epigenetically, emotionally, and psychically. Though it is helpful to know or discover the history of what these may be, it is not always possible. Communicating with ancestors has come up in the last few astrology readings I have done, and two ways that I suggest to connect to ancestors is 1) talk or pray to those you have known, such as parents, grandparents, etc. and see what messages or signs come, and 2) ask them to come in your dreams, since this is our access to the unconscious and the easiest access we have to the spirit realm. Another way to spot if you have ancestral karma that needs healing is to see if there are patterns of abuse and addictions in your family. This may have started with some sort of family trauma or tragedy generations ago or just with your own parents (they are ancestors too), but by acknowledging and embracing it and through forgiveness and gratitude, you allow it/yourself to heal and release.
The greatest medicine for healing is love. And it is through forgiveness and gratitude that we allow ourselves to love. Though it may be hard to forgive an abusive parent or other ancestor, by releasing yourself of any anger and by finding compassion for their pain and suffering, forgiveness will come. Forgiveness does not justify an action. It’s not about whether someone’s actions were right or wrong, but about our willingness to let go. This opens the way for healing. Also, there is always something we can learn about ourselves from every experience, and for at least that we can find gratitude. Healing old wounds from this life or from family lines takes time, but it will come.
Footnote: As I began working on this post this morning, my brother, the family genealogist, walks in and hands me a box – an ancestry genetics test! Ah, synchronicity!
This is an amazing journey. Thanks for sharing.
I just finished reading two books by Robert Schwartz about pre-incarnation planning with fascinating personal accounts and Akashic record readings by psychic mediums. I was blown away by the insight that we may have planned many of our major challenges and the corresponding suffering before birth.
The are all designed to bring formerly unconscious beliefs into consciousness so we are then enabled to look at them and let them go. That seems in line with what you found out about your
childhood challenges and hidden beliefs like shame.
For me, knowing that I have planned my forgiveness opportunities, as the ACIM folks call them, before birth makes a difference , and forgiveness is much easier.
In case you are interested, the books are
Your soul’s plan
Your soul’s gift.
I just loved this post so much that I came back to re-read it, and to comment ❤
In fact, I have a candid response – still. I have nothing really to say except to tell you that these photos and the feeling/vibes/energy I get from this post is pretty BIG. In some ways I can relate to what you write… but not directly – not the details, specifically. What an amazing thing to share with us! I imagine your new/old home is really something, as well as your books will be~
Thanks Ka! ❤ Yes, more BIG transitions/tranformations to come!
beautifully written, Julianne, and so grounded. you’re amazing, and i truly understand the day when the cold just doesn’t work, anymore. 🙂
beautiful blog, beautiful ways. thank you so much for sharing about embracing family relations. it’s very startling and unsettling to come through, full circle and suddenly understand why there’s nothing to forgive. you made it tangible.
warmest, warmest regards, meredith.
Thank you Meredith! Wise words: “and suddenly understand why there’s nothing to forgive.” Namaste _/l\_
I’ve been on a similar journey through ancestral stuff since doing family history research and realizing there are deep patterns that I carry too. I like the idea of working on healing addiction patterns. Thanks for this.
Thank you for the wonderful post and for sharing the photos from your Ancestor Wall! We share some parallels on our journey, from what you share here – “I knowingly completely tore down one fully free, creative, independent, and self-sustaining life, and keeping only the bare essentials willingly entered into into a life of nearly complete dependancy and stagnancy.” The experience with siblings (or partners) who struggle with mental illness. And returning to the ancestral homelands and nearer family. The ancestral-healing focus is an important part of ‘shamanic’ work (by whatever word we might call the ancestral/indigenous traditions), so I appreciate what fellow kindreds write about their own experiences. Thanks again! Love, Jamie
You’re welcome Jaimie! You hit it – I do feel a big part of my purpose(s) here is to more fully come into my shaman-being in many ways.
Have a Beautiful day! ❤
Beautiful piece. Schizophrenia runs like race horses through my family. It creates for some very interesting family dynamics and suffering. Really tuned into this piece. Thank you.
Thank you! Sending blessings to you and your family! ❤
What a lovely synchronicity relating to your first image of DNA and double helix! I have been receiving double helix metaphor relating to sacred twins recently (within a week) and had been searching for articles about the symbolism relating to double helix in general on the Internet (whereas having known DNA concept in terms of cellular energy healing already earlier, and now having received yet another point of view from my Guidance). I also wrote a little poem relating (not yet published) yesterday. Was about to post it with a DNA image, and might still do. In my recent article post there is an image of Double Healix Nebula. 🙂
Your words about ancestral healing are so very wise and true. My own main ancestral/family/ childhood healing processes took place in the end years of the nineties and in the beginning years of 2000. Very concrete and miraculous healing happened and rippled to the larger family, too. I was ready to leave the past behind several years ago and process in the now moment whatever inner programmings are still left. I share this to affirm to anyone who might possibly need it that these processes do really work.
Love and hugs,
Very cool Deelia! Twins has also come up for me lately. 🙂 Yes, the healing is miraculous, especially as there is much deep in the “DNA” of the psyche that was unknown and is uncovered. Have a beautiful day! ❤
Its nice to read divine sisters awareness about the ancestral lineage… that is now ending with ourselves… Like yourself much has come down from the generations of my family, good and bad… But i’m embracing it all and releasing it all… As i know it is not who IAM. Choosing to move beyond the human constraints. Thanks for your great account and pictures… Take care barbara
Thanks Barbara! Good luck with your work too! Namaste _/l\_
Good luck with your move back to your family home. Excellent decision. Thanks for sharing the pictures and stories of your family. Excellent and an enlightening post.
Thanks, but the move was 2.5 years ago and I have already gone through what I discussed in the post. Visit the Butterfly Journal posts from 2013-14 here: http://juliannevictoria.com/category/butterfly-journal/
Wonderful and inspiring!! 🙂
I enjoyed reading this Julianne. It’s wonderful to have so many pictures of your ancestors. I am looking at Saturn arriving into my fourth house in about a year and wondering what that has in store for me this time around! I will very much look forward to reading your book about your sister. Thanks for always taking the time to read my blogs and commenting. i appreciate you!
Thank you so much Peggy! I am planning on spending more time completing the books, so I may not be traveling around blogville as much for a bit. Good luck with your Saturn transits. He’s a tough teacher, but worth patiently listening to. 😉
Wonderful post Julianne!
I am so drawn to our ancestral past, the stories, the wounds and our connection to them. Looks like you had some adventurous souls in your family.
Adventurous indeed! Thank you Debra!
Great post and i love the photos!
I know you have yet to see the best of 2015 that is yet to be for you…
the Universe decided I had procrastinated enough, I was always the misfit, separated myself from
the drama of the mundane life of my family, made peace with Goddess that I could not fix or save them, it was not my journey, then both my sisters passed away last summer, and my mother needed me to change my life and help her…it has been challenging, but not stress and sad like most would believe…I am grateful for what I have been shown this last seven months…it is like I was suspended and now I am watching the Hanged man and the Hermit of my soul, help each other breathe and come back to life…
I am not sure which of these two worlds I belong in, I suspect neither…..I have just decided to be the flow and just observe, I feel like I will know why eventually, sooner than later
though I do miss my quiet little space and gardens and my zoo….
your post seems to awaken a few more thoughts in my mind to observe and wander through 🙂
I wish you a most joyous journey in this direction you have taken
Thank you for sharing …I enjoyed your thoughts
Take Care…You Matter…
Thank you MaryRose! I am glad you are finding gratitude for your challenges. I used to get the Hermit and Hanged Man, oh and the Tower often, but yes, be the flow and learn everything possible. 🙂
Many blessings and beautiful things for you this year! ❤
Serendipity indeed with your brothers visit 🙂 what a journey our lives are..once we go along with the waves instead of fighting them we find we can learn a lot and we can let go of a lot too.What lovely pictures and such mystery is evoked in them all. Loves Bev xxx
Thanks Bev! Always so much to learn! 😀
We never stop 🙂 we may not always like it but we always get something out of it ) xxx
This is an inspiring post Julianne of working with your past to heal and surrendering to the process of it, which at times is very challenging as you noted! This is such important work to share and encourage others to heal the wounds of their past. You are a special soul 🙂 Karen
Thank you for your thoughtful words Karen! ❤ Namaste _/l\_
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am on the other side of the coin. I must sell my family home – 50 years and 4 generations have come and gone. I am also leaving a beautiful vegetable / herb / berry garden, and a view that encompasses the mountians, a busy port, and a lighthouse. I feel so sad to have to leave, yet I feel a bit of excitement to see where the 2nd half of my life will lead me. My life suddenly and drastically changed in July (my husband of 30 years walked away suddenly), things have been strange and stressful, but i am finding myself stronger than i thought i was. Good luck and well wishes to you!
Thank you! I understand the huge transition you are facing, but your spark of excitement and inner strength will help you to move forward. Good luck on your new adventure! ❤
wonderful message of love
for healing & letting go 🙂
Thanks you! 🙂
I loved seeing the photos and reading these amazingly rich stories Julie. Also love the synchronicity.We both share an interest in genealogy. You have come so far and we are all better for it. Too more evolution, healing, and your baby books on their way to maturity ❤
Thanks Linda! So much history and stories in all families! These “baby books” will be the biggest ones so far. 🙂 ❤
I did not mean they were small, but in process 🙂
I know. I was playing with the word. 🙂