Last month’s journal topic was Faith, and with the journaling process of the first three months of Butterfly Journal I feel I have accomplished a great amount of healing. I left off the last entry saying: I am now curious to see how this increased faith in myself is going to manifest in my life… And this leads nicely into the prompt for month #4:
With self-reflection, truth, and faith we have begun to clear our view of ourselves and of our lives. This clarity of sight brings awareness to our every-day living and being. We begin to see better not only what is going on around us, but also what we think, feel, and do; as well as how our thoughts, emotions, and actions affect others.
For the fourth month, observe yourself: what you think, what you feel, what you do, and the energy all of these put out towards others and into your environment. Are the effects positive or negative? You may notice that the more self-aware you become, the more positive you think, feel, act, and affect the world around you.
The dream series that I had documented in previous journal entries seems to have also come to a stage of completion. I have had a couple of dreams where I had very briefly returned to my old house, but everything there was white and bright, as if washed out and cleaned out by the light. The slate has been wiped clean, and now the new is free to manifest.
Even though some of the past and some “what if’s” were still clearing out, my thoughts, a powerful form of energy in itself, have been mainly focused on visualizing how I wish my life to unfold. Thoughts sometimes line up for years before they manifest in the three dimensional world, but I also know that we need to take action to help bring our wishes and goals to fruition. As long as we do not let feelings of fear and worry hold us back, things will fall into place when the time is best for it. We need to have faith in the process so that we do not try to force things to happen when all has not yet lined up.
The biggest awareness challenge in my current situation, however, is in dealing with my mother. My mother has Alzheimer’s and I am one of her main caretakers. She is a very difficult person, to say the least, so figuring out how to handle her has been very challenging. She had other mental issues before the addition of Alzheimer’s, so “normal” positive interaction is sometimes futile. As this month goes on, I am going to evaluate as aware as possible how this situation affects my thoughts, feelings, and actions and how those affect her behavior and reactions.
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For a glimpse into the world of Alzheimer’s, check out my article in Caregiver Magazine.