Through the Peacock's Eyes

Art in this post by Josephine Wall

I am happy to have the opportunity to participate in Linda of Litebeing Chronicles, Pieces of a Dream’s Time Machine Blogging Challenge! The challenge’s Directions: Pick a time in your life that was critical to your development. You can go back or forwards in time. It can be real or imagined. After all, it is real if you imagine it! Choose an idea or a skill or a value you hold dear in the present and infuse it into that time period. 

It took me a while to think of something to write about for this blogging challenge – until I had a dream a few nights ago. It was another dream about returning to my old house, and that dream has prompted me to review this particular dream series that I’ve been having since selling and moving from that house about three years ago. This dream series, or more accurately the dreamworld, the realm of the nonphysical unconscious, allows me to travel through time (and space), traversing the timelessness of the psyche, and become aware of and process the healing journey that this major life transition triggered and supported. In the past few years I have learned much about understanding my psyche (by the way, “house” often represents the psyche in dreams!), and so I will time travel on many levels here with you and review and share my journey and travels to and through my “house”!

I first shared some of this dreams series in my post Butterfly Journal: Self-Reflection (Entry #2) back in September 2013: (I am pretty sure I had some of these “house” dreams before the following entries, but I was not keeping a dream journal the first half year or so after moving.)

April 28, 2013: I went back to my old house just to check it out. Kuruk (my pup) and Zoe (my cat) were with me. I knocked and rang the bell, but no one was there, so I used the key I had (I do not have one in real life). They were still moving stuff in and putting the house together. I saw the woman and she had a new baby. I told her I just stopped by. That’s all.

May 7, 2013: I went to my old house to finish packing up (though I knew in my dream I had moved away a while ago). The woman had blonde hair this time and everything was very white and bright, and washed in light. She was cooking. The couple had removed the built-in cabinet in the dining room and asked if I wanted it. I said no. I put my air mattress in the living room since I would need to stay over-night. Simba (my pup who has passed but is an animal spirit guide for me) was with me. 

June 11, 2013: I was back at my old house and had returned to finish cleaning up. There was stuff stacked under the front door mat. My mail, I think. I had entered the house through the back though, and then went to the front door and saw this. (In my dream journal I also note here that in the first two dreams I also entered through the back door. In the first one I had rung the bell but then entered through the back.) I saw neighbors from across the street wave. That was all.

July 20, 2013: I returned to my old house because my neighbors wanted me there. I wasn’t in the house though. Then I am walking down the street towards the coffeeshop. It was warm and humid. I wondered why I went back. I didn’t want to. Others wanted it.

September 9, 2013: I went to my old house and let myself in (front door) with a key. The owners asked me to let them know next time before I just come over. My pups were with me. I was only in the living room.

And here are my entries from 2014 to the present:

January 10, 2014: I was curious what it would be like if I returned to my old house. (This was a lucid dream thought. Also before I went to sleep I was exploring what a parallel timeline would be if I had not moved.) I went to a woman (unknown) friend’s home, and she was working on starting up a private medical practice. She was discussing her plans and how we could work together. It felt uneasy to me. Though I figured I could get some of my clients back, I didn’t like her plans.

I went to my old house. No one was living there. Inside the basement level (where I had had my office) had been gutted. I would have to rebuild it from scratch. I didn’t know how I would do this. I had no money to pay the mortgage, and didn’t even have a treatment table. The upstairs was empty, and all the walls were the pale blue color they had been when I first moved in in 2003.

February 18, 2014: I’m in my old house – the green is back on the walls. I want to repair or re-build the fence because it is falling apart. It would better guard/protect too. 

April 22, 2014: I returned to my house and wanted to buy it from the young couple who owned it. They were the new owners but also somehow the previous owners. The house was like it was when I first moved in.

August 26, 2014: I decided to return to finally sell my house. I knew it had been empty without me for some time. I began to compare this (lucidly) to past dream returns to the  house. I was also aware I has sold the house in “real life.” 

December 20, 2014: I was back in my old home in the lower level in the front yellow room. I was with a very tall dark-haired man. The room was much bigger than before, and I was trying to figure out a new set up for clients. I decided to use the entry room as a sitting room and this one as a treatment room. I explained to the man that I had raised my chickens in this room. He hugged me and was proud of all I’ve accomplished. 

There was a door in the middle of this room towards the front that led to a large garage. This did not exist in waking life, and I was happy that the room was not partly underground and had more space.

January 4, 2015: I was at my old house, and a guy had bought it. It was under major construction (due to disrepair?). I was helping him or advising him. He knew I did not have a permanent home and offered to buy the blueprints for the house from me to live there. 

February 17, 2015: I was moving into my old house, but it was bit different. There was stuff everywhere but felt no urgency to organize everything. I was just excited to re-establish myself, decorate, and create. There was a poop-filled kitty litter box in the corner.

March 21, 2015: I was in my house because I wanted to know what it would be like if I were still there. Some people out front were taking apart the fence. I was worried that they might take apart the back driveway part, and then the pups might get out. I went out and told them to stop. They did, but the whole front fence had been torn down. 

There were about five cats who wanted in and out the front door. I was inside looking out the front window, and a lady solicitor walks in the front door, which I thought was locked but wasn’t. This shocked me, and I told her to leave. I saw a friend’s keys on the table. I knew she had come to support me, but I didn’t know where she was.

April 7, 2015: I was back in my old home, but it was new and had just moved in. In the living room, I was looking out at the garden and assessing all that I could do. The chips could be removed to plant, etc. I was excited! Neighbors were happy I was there too. I was walking up the street and a neighbor with kids on bikes were very friendly and happy to see me.

May 25, 2015: I went to stay at my old house but knew that I was just visiting or vacationing. I was changing my clothes in the bedroom, and the pups were playing outside. The bedroom was sparse – only a couple of chairs and a table or two to set my things on. They had changed the curtains to white embroidered ones. They were on the old rods and drawn over the windows. I looked out the back window and saw the woman who lived there planting some plants in the middle of the back. It was similar to before though. 

July 29, 2015: I went to my old house to see how the couple were living there. It had been changed a lot – bedroom was now in front, yard different. It wasn’t “my” house anymore. 

August 9, 2015:  I flew with my brother to go to my old house. It was as it was when I lived there, and I wanted to go to bed. Nalle and Kuruk (my pups) were sleeping in the backyard. 

September 5, 2015: An Asian woman and her young son were sleeping in the bedroom in my old house. The pups were in there too and singing. They quieted down and then all were sleeping. I had to go next door to my neighbor’s backyard to access something in my backyard. His house was packed with old furniture and antiques, and there was barely enough room to move around or through it. I was looking around, and a man (looking like a Goth Mad-hatter) approached the neighbor’s house to appraise the antiques. My neighbor then arrived too, and he was ready to clear out the old stuff. (In waking life I had a key to the neighbor’s house and often house-sat, so not strange to go over there in my dream, which I had done before in dreams.)

September 30, 2015: I went to my old house and was in the backyard. The back of the house was more open and on ground level (versus a few feet above). There was also now a door from the bedroom to the back patio. There were a lot of people gathered there, mostly the university athletes I had worked with. The small pond was being remodeled, and we were talking about how I named the fish for the athletes. 

I was worried about the fish with the remodeling of the pond. The part of the old pond that had a small leak was now filled with dirt. The plants from the edge had been removed and changed. Someone pointed out that all the fish were safe (and there were lots of them – hundreds and many varieties now) in the new bigger pond/swimming pool? right next to it. 

I have done much evaluating and work towards understanding this dream series, but I am curious about any insights some you readers and bloggers might have, especially the dream bloggers out there!

Life, what is it but a dream? – Lewis Carroll

Check out the next post in this blogging challenge over at Leigh’s blog here! And if you’d like to participate yourself, sign up by visiting the Time Machine Blogging Challenge!